Advice for men on dating and relationships

For men looking to start connections, there's limited information available.

There are principles to follow for fostering a healthy and fulfilling relationship, but finding solid advice can be challenging. This is largely due to vested interests that keep men uninformed about how to build strong partnerships.

First and foremost, you must acknowledge the reality: there are many women and Vichy Males who feel threatened by a man prioritizing his happiness in romantic decisions.

Next, consider a society that discourages fulfilling romantic connections. Much of the relationship advice out there encourages women to behave as they wish while men are expected to simply endure. Men who propose different ideas may be labeled "sexist" or "controlling."

While there’s an abundance of guidance on dating strategies, meeting women on apps, and becoming a carefree single, there’s little on maintaining a relationship that goes beyond the cliché "happy spouse, happy life."

I’m here to bridge that gap. I've figured out how to cultivate a joyful and healthy relationship for myself, and I'm excited to share my insights with you in my "Guidelines for men on dating and relationships."

These principles are drawn from my personal experiences as a man in a committed relationship for more than nine years—showing no signs of ending anytime soon. Abide by my advice, and you'll become the high-value man that women desire and choose to remain with.

If you're still seeking a relationship, I have an entire blog post on how to achieve that right here.

I'm not offering you definitive rules to ensure your relationship lasts forever—nobody can promise that. Instead, I'm providing you with principles designed to ensure you feel fulfilled and happy.

That’s what truly matters.

If you don’t read beyond this introduction, remember this: "Happy life, happy spouse." If you grasp this concept, you’ve won the essential battle in your relationships.

Miss the mark entirely, and you’ll find yourself unhappy, questioning why your relationships fail.

A man must evolve beyond what he desires.

You need to be the kind of man who attracts women. In fact, given the nature of hypergamy, you must be even more than that.

What is hypergamy? Here’s a definition from Wikipedia (saving you the effort of looking it up!):

If you want to attract an intelligent woman, you need to cultivate above-average intelligence. While you can’t increase your IQ, you can read more, pursue higher education, and engage in hobbies that enhance your cognitive abilities.

If you desire a fit woman, you must commit to physical fitness. Too many guys expect women to be in shape while neglecting their own health, often with no ability to do a pull-up or keeping body fat percentages too high.

If you want a feminine woman, you need to embody strong masculinity. Don’t expect a woman to exude femininity if you’re unable to lead, take risks, and present yourself as someone worthy of female admiration.

This list could go on, but the key takeaway remains: whatever trait you desire, you should exemplify that quality (or its masculine counterpart) at an elevated level.

It may seem a bit unfair, but mature men don’t complain about inequalities. We adapt to achieve our goals.

Outside of dating, lead a life full of ambition; pursue personal objectives and understand your priorities.

These ambitions are not solely for attracting her. Your lifestyle isn’t primarily for her benefit; it’s for you.

No woman wants to be your sole focus.

What kind of man lives only for work, sports on weekends, and Netflix? The kind who inevitably wonders why none of his relationships prosper.

This is also the sort of man who fixates on the woman, as she quickly becomes the centerpiece of his existence without earning that position.

You need a mission that enriches your mind and body. It doesn’t need to be grand or world-changing, but it should inspire you to grow mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Unless you’re looking to attract gamer girls, hobbies like video gaming don’t count. While they may be enjoyable, they lack real-life stakes and the stressors that come with genuine challenges.

Sure, you may feel frustration while gaming, but the ease of simply stopping the game means you’re not compelled to manage that frustration.

Anyone who spent time in a gaming forum knows that people often say anything because actions bear no real consequences.

This is also why gaming is less effective as a hobby to meet women. It fails to teach you anything meaningful.

I’m not referring to game developers who create engaging interfaces or exciting narratives.

You, the gamer, exist in a virtual world where nothing holds true significance, meaning you miss out on the essential growth that comes from challenging experiences, even if they come at the cost of investing countless hours.

Interestingly, this relates to the issue of adult entertainment.

You receive no real-world feedback in pursuit of fulfilling your sexual urges, leaving you unmotivated to improve yourself in meaningful ways. Unsure whether you have a pornography dependency? Check if you exhibit any of these six signs of addiction.

Develop goals and priorities that extend beyond the digital realm. Strive for personal growth so you bring value to yourself, your relationships, and your partner.

If you're unsure where to start with hobbies, I’ve created a blog post detailing interests that can help you meet women. You should check it out.

This isn’t a dissertation on evolutionary psychology. However, here are some pivotal insights:

Men are visual.

For men, a significant portion of mate selection hinges on a woman's physical appearance. This is why initial character traits often go unnoticed; they’re not immediately relevant to her reproductive capabilities.

Women seek strength and stability.

Being the bearers of new life, they experience greater vulnerability. Regardless of current social dynamics, this has been the foundation for most of humanity's development. Thus, any display of strength, power, or resilience is attractively appealing to women.

This explains why both criminals and professional athletes can attract beautiful women—they often embody strength and power.

Strength and power are primal.

One man's urge to protect and provide contrasts another’s need to conquer and destroy.

Forget modern social conditioning.

These instincts have deep roots, formed over thousands of years. A century of social upheaval won't alter this reality.

In her quest for a provider and protector, a woman can primarily gauge you based on your physical appearance. The rest—your life choices and behaviors—offers insight into your evolutionary fitness, strength, and capability.

If you’re lacking direction, it'll show in your actions. Only someone truly lost, lacking interests, fixates on a woman or relationship.